Sunday, February 8, 2009

NEW WATERBOARDING RECREATION CENTER OPENS

Due to the current media blitz on the subject of waterboarding as a torture tactic, several enterprising individuals have decided to open a "waterboarding club." "It's kind of like the fight clubs that are springing up on the Eastern Seaboard," stated Ulrich, one of the owners who prefered to remain out of the limelight. "Dude, like some people think this kind of thing is like torture, you know what I mean? But it ain't that bad, no, not really. But like me and my partner here, Igor, wanted to see if it was all that gruelling. I mean, at first, sure we like thought we were going under, but we held our breath and tried to think of pleasant pictures, pin-up of bathing beauties and you know, hot cars and mansions, all the fun stuff, you know. Hey, like we came through it okay," he continued. His associate mentioned that he figured that the undercover agents had been around because one guy who was driving a black Suburban and wearing shades came in and axed us if we could like maybe do a slight boarding on his ex to find out if she was cheating on him and stuff like that, you know what I mean? And we said, 'hell no, man,' cause we are law-abiding. We ain't open yet cause we are waiting for an answer from the city. They axed what kind of business it was and we figured it was like a watersports club." Asked if they had a name figured out for the new business, the two men chuckled and replied that had considered calling it "Truth or Consequences."
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My dad's dad, my grandfather, was nine years old when President Lincoln died from an assassin's bullet. Most people think I am speaking of my GREAT GRANDFATHER. NO, I am referring to my dad's father, my paternal Grandfather, Robert Levi Huffstutter, born in 1856. What does this information have to do with my profile? It might help the reader understand that I have a sense of being much older than I am in that only one generation seperates me from President Lincoln. This causes me to respond differently to society and many current events. In many respects, this is to my benefit, in other respects it dates my mindset. Perhaps this is the reason I value the moral standards and idealogies of older Americans, the men who were the soldiers and sailors I saw when I was a small boy,the men and women who fought a war for freedom without any doubts posted by a media with a questionable lack of national unity and purpose.